Crazy

PatsyClineCrazy
Crazy

Worry—why do I let myself worry?
Wondering—what in the world did I do?

—Willie Nelson & Patsy Cline

Once, I thought I heard
a voice

near the nurse’s station on
the psych floor,

but it was just the buzzing of
florescent

lights. I was 22 and hadn’t slept
much for a week.

Not really. And “really” becomes the
problem

here when palpitations, sweat, dyspnea,
epinephrine, trembles,

fight, and flight appear out of the blue.
My onset?

The last semester of college, “prior
to a significant

life change.” Typical—if “typical”
applies

to feeling death in a desk, bed,
crowd,

or empty room. Also, I was
afraid

I would look at the sun
outside,

go blind. Go figure.
Afraid

of the wide open
world

and the acute
point

that became
life.

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